My Husband is a Hoarder

Where to start? First, I love my husband. AND, he is driving me crazy. Plus, the dust and mold in my house are making me sick.

It started when we moved into his family home, and began the promised renovations. It’s a cute house, all brick, with lots of potential. BUT, after years of half-finished projects, I am totally frustrated.

I manage to keep the kitchen, one bedroom and my car off limits. But, the rest of the rooms in the house, plus the basement, attic, garage, and shed, are full of stuff. Of all that exists in my world, I own about 2%. 98% is his!

How I Know He is a Hoarder

1. He hides things from me that he buys or finds at the junkyard and in thrift stores.
2. He can’t find anything. No flat surface is safe.
4. I throw away bottles and useless items, and he gets them out of the trash.
5. He doesn’t take care of his clothes or tools.
6. Our yard and garage looks just like the inside of our house.
7. He never finishes anything.
8. I could go on….

I have dark circles under my eyes at all times. My nose is stuffy, and I feel tired. I am depressed because I cannot invite anyone into our home.

Is there dust – yes. Is there mold – yes. Is there hope – I don’t think so. My decision lies within me – leave or stay. So sad that our wonderful relationship has turned into a continual struggle just to maintain my safe places. And I realize that my situation is better than that of most hoarder victims. At least for now, I’ve got my finger in the dam.

I haven’t found a website for spouses of hoarders, but you might take a look at www.childrenofhoarders.com. I also found this article to be helpful – https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/hoarding-disorder/what-is-hoarding-disorder

Name withheld by request.

Author: Carolyn Willbanks